i'll have the red pill please. i want my old life back. i would give back my poor choices, and take my quiet, comfortable life back anytime. this is sooo hard. i feel like because i haven't been the one calling the shots, that i am being forced to grow at her pace. i need time to develop slowly. this is all moving way too fast for me.
in this moment, i am scared shitless. that may change in a few hours, or i may mourn my losses for awhile. it wasn't glamourous, but in its own way, it was a fairytale. it is irrevocably and inequivocably gone. gone. gone. my tears are not tears of joy.